Saturday, August 6, 2022

Losing the Consistency

Currently, my heart wasn't right, yes, it just didn't feel right. Sensitive as I am, this could go on for days. Good thing my mind was preoccupied with the projects for my post-grad subject. How I wish I could undo the feelings I felt right now. I have remorse for those insensitive people that surrounds me. I thought I was getting better but I was wrong.

Regrets are one thing that I dread the most when I was still single. Honestly, I have so many regrets in my life. From my choice of career before, the things that I should have done but failed to do, and then now my marriage. I thought I get stronger with time, but I guess I was totally wrong. 

Apart from infidelity, the worst thing that could ever happen to a woman was when she felt unwanted, unloved, and disrespected by the person whom she thought would be her only confidante, her biggest support. That feeling where you felt like you were just being used the whole time. Who could survive a lifetime with that kind of hostility? How I wish I have listened to the wisdom of my Mom. How I wish I have been broken back then than been broken forever. How I wish I could escape from this kind of reality as easily as I can.


I can't allow my children to suffer what I've been through growing up in a broken family. They're still too young to understand my situation. They're still too young to carry the burden. There hasn't been a year since I got married that I haven't helped myself from crying out of frustration, desperation, and yes, regrets. For 11 years now I have been carrying this burden. I thought I could live with it but I doubt I can.

I've done my best to be a better wife, and a better Mom but I guess I fall short of his expectations. I don't know, I really don't know. Instead of bringing out the BEST in me, I think I became the worst version of myself. The once jolly, vibrant me became an irritable, grumpy woman who seems to go through a mid-life crisis. 

Right now I felt so tired of trying harder to become the best. I am so exhausted, stressed, and not happy anymore. I remember how happy I was back then on the day of our wedding but little by little we're losing the consistency of a better marriage. Ours is far from ideal, far from the fairytales-like marriage. Ours is something that if God would give me another life in another time, I will make sure that I won't go back to where I am right now, that I would choose a different path, and with different people to invest my emotion with. All I have right now is an envy for those women my age who are happily married to their partners. I really thought he is the one for me, but maybe I was just so stubborn back then that I lost sight of reality. I thought LOVE conquers all and LOVE covers a multitude of sins but sadly, I do not have the tolerance and the patience anymore.  All the more my heart was hardened because never in our married life that he apologized verbally for every pain he caused me, never did I remember. He has his other way of showing how sorry he was but for me, that was never enough, because he never learned from his mistakes after all.

Enough of life's drama. I am so tired. Let's see where the rest of the days would take me- the future is too bleak for me- I have to wait for my children to come to an age where they will understand everything- that is if I could still hold on to God's promise of a better tomorrow.

Wednesday, August 3, 2022

When Is Irrigation Maintenance Necessary?

Regular irrigation maintenance is important if you're interested in keeping your landscape looking great. Here are a few ways to do this. First, check sprinkler heads for clogs and valves for leaks. Inspect the pump system for leaks. This way, you can ensure that your system responds to changes in the weather. 

Regular irrigation maintenance

Maintaining a well-maintained irrigation system is essential for a landscape, especially if it's an important part of the management plan for your property. Proper irrigation maintenance by irrigation services Massachusetts ensures that your vegetation will continue to thrive and look its best. Not only is regular irrigation maintenance good for your property's landscape, but it also saves you money in the long run. In addition, proper irrigation maintenance can prevent costly problems down the line.

The first step to regular irrigation maintenance is flushing your system. Water should not be left in the system if excess debris has been collected. Next, it's important to check the PSI, which is the water pressure of the sprinklers. If the PSI varies significantly, the sprinklers may not be functioning correctly. If this is the case, contact an irrigation maintenance company for repair. These professionals will check your irrigation system and suggest the best course of action.

Checking sprinkler heads for clogs

If you've had problems with your irrigation system recently, it may be time to consider having it checked out. Sprinkler heads should be checked regularly for clogs and dirt. If they're not spraying at all, it could be due to a problem with the valve that controls water flow. If you have trouble controlling water flow through the system, you may need to consider replacing it.

Clogged sprinkler heads are an issue because they prevent water from flowing out. It can be the sprinkler head, a plumbing line, or a broken pipe. Regardless of the cause, a clogged head can cause the water to stop flowing and cause damage to the sprinkler system. Clogged sprinkler heads can be caused by debris in the head or the valve. In the worst-case scenario, water pressure will be reduced enough for mineral deposits to build up.

Checking valves for leaks

Performing irrigation maintenance requires checking your valves for leaks. Over time, valves may become clogged and fail to close properly. A leak in underground pipes may appear as wet spots, depressions, or small holes. 

Stone can cause a small hole in the valve diaphragm. A valve with this problem can continue to leak water continuously. If you notice any damage to the valve, you can easily replace it. 

A valve's diaphragm is a mechanism that opens and closes. You can check the opening or closing of the valve with a multitester. You can also check the wire terminals marked "24-vac." If the readings are low, you must replace the transformer. The diaphragm can be replaced, and zone valves can be tightened by replacing the valve diaphragm.

Checking pump system for leaks

Proper maintenance is essential for your pump system. You should change the oil yearly and check the ground and electric motor for frayed wires or other problems. Make sure you shut off your system properly before beginning maintenance. Also, lubricate the motor and check it for leaks. Pumps are an integral part of any irrigation system; if they are not functioning properly, your entire system could be out of commission.

The most obvious way to check if you leak is to shut off the water and watch for a water meter reading. You can then look for leaks in valves and lines to determine if there is a leak. You may need to call a professional irrigation technician if you don't see any water. Otherwise, you can perform the maintenance yourself. It's important to keep in mind that if you don't have a dedicated water meter, you can still check your system yourself.

Tuesday, August 2, 2022

Still Up?

Yes, I'm still up! Time Check, it's 2:49AM!

I just finished watching movie online and I so love the story! The title is PURPLE HEART, referring to American Soldiers who got injured at the middle of their battle. I love the artist who played the role of Cassie, she's awesome! If she own that voice she would be too amazing! Ok won't be a spoiler though so you better catch that film via Netflix.
Meanwhile, allow me to sleep please 😂

Sunday, July 3, 2022


It's past the middle month of the year, and here I am still losing the vibe to writing about anything and everything under the sun.

I've been quite disturbed lately about a lot of things. I am even confused about my priorities. I've been hustling in between jobs and pursuing my Master's degree. Plus, motherhood and wife duties were added to the list.

I am even wondering how long will my patience runs, or my strength and energy. I felt like I have worked a lot yet accomplished nothing. My life is a mixture of doubt and fear, yet still thriving, thanks to God. 

I even experienced having a rough day and just told myself to go on come what may. Did I lose my will as well? I just can't figure it out yet. 

But as long as I still have my sanity, I couldn't care less. Life must go on, even when the future for me is still clueless.

Oh God please help.

Sunday, April 3, 2022

His Words On 1 Corinthians 7:4

The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.

The wives are expected to be submissive to their husbands...

But as the years go by, many women who felt being empowered doesn't believe on this anymore. Being submissive or being dominant, it depends now on what would be their(the couple) agreement. But as for me, it depends upon the situation. There are times and situations that I need to yield to my husband's desire- no questions. For those who were asking and clamoring for gender equality, the bible was very clear on that on the second line of the said verse: the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. See?, it's a two way process.

Saturday, April 2, 2022

Is It Possible to Live a Debt-Free Life?

image, not mine

This is among the questions that many would find it too hard to answer. Why? Because whether we accept it or not, debt has been a part of our lifestyle. All of us want to live a good life, the kind of life that is so carefree, happy-go-lucky, and adventure-filled kind of life! 
Who doesn’t love to travel? Who doesn’t love to wear the latest in fashion? Who doesn’t want to experience a staycation in a five-star hotel? I bet, all of us want it. But reality has it that right now, nothing comes for free. All the good things in life come with a price. 

There are many factors that lead an individual to get credit from lending institutions like banks, cooperatives, and even our colleagues. One fact is that what we earn is never enough for all our needs. Even some CEO in big companies can attest to that. The higher is our status in society, so do our lifestyle needs. For a breadwinner who needs to send a family member to school, he might be facing the same dilemma. Indeed, having debt is not only a problem for small-time individuals, it could be a problem too for those who are making and earning a large sum of money but could never get enough with their higher standard of living. 

Debt is not really that bad at all. It is our last option when we are running out of financial resources. It could help us in times of our immediate financial needs. However, debt could only become a great problem if, and only if, we do not know how to pay it back properly. As we all know, the money we owed is associated with monthly interest, that is where the loan sharks earn their profit. One concrete example of this kind of situation is the credit cards issued by private banks. Based on research, most credit card holder only pays the minimum monthly payment, which is actually just a portion of the interest that accumulates monthly plus the annual fee is another burden to them. It is in the manner of paying that some people could not comprehend just yet until they realized that they could not afford to pay the capital anymore. For a situation like this, one must undergo first a financial literacy seminar before they will indulge themselves in debt. One has to understand all the consequences of not paying their debt on time. 

For those who were on the brink of losing their sanity because they could not afford to pay their debts anymore, they must consult a financial coach that could assist them in what to do. Others may resort to debt consolidation programs that could help them settle their debt problems. You may click here to know more about debt consolidation. Unsettled debt could really affect us mentally, socially, emotionally, and spiritually if we do not know how to manage it well. As a matter of fact, others may apply for a loan buy-out with an established bank, but again, it’s another form of debt. 

Debt may be inevitable for all of us but we need to control ourselves. We must learn how to meet both ends, to live within what we can only afford. One book that I have read stated that, if only people know how to live a frugal life, debt may not be a big issue. If you apply for a debt to make it as capital for a business in mind, then that would be okay since it will be returned to you in due time- and it is even considered a good investment. However, if you indulge in living the kind of life beyond what you can only afford, that is how the problem begins. For financial issues and concerns, you may also consult a  wealth advisor to help you manage your finances well and live a debt-free life.

Now let's go back to the question: Is it possible to live a debt-free life? for me, it's a yes as long as you are determined and have a disciplined mindset.

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