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Tuesday, June 22, 2010

...♥whatever♥...


Responsibilities according to the Word Web is defined as "The social force that binds you to the courses of action demanded by that force"... ouch! while searching for its definition, I can feel the burden. I am not saying that I am against with that word. It just so happen that when I was challenged with my responsibilities, I felt helpless. Why? because I do not have the means to carry that responsibilities. And what exactly I mean when I say "means"? Well. I don't feel like elaborating it here. I just want to express my feeling right now in a subtle way. Again and again, it made my day awful by just merely thinking about it. 
Well, I know for a fact that I am not the only one who went through his kind of dilemma... but hey, it's quite too heavy for me to bear... And the sad fact was that, the people whom you have expected to , shall I say, be with you in this kind of ordeal, they are equally helpless to help you. They do not have the "means" as well. 
Buh! where is my God? maybe He could help... not unless, He deliberately allow me to feel this way... therefore,  He just let me have this feeling until I  totally gave up everything and surrender it back to Him... (Easier said than done) We already have that intimate conversation the other night, I slept at 2am. I talked to Him, however, I wasn't able get the chance of listening to His responses... my hands is so full... my mind is so preoccupied and my heart is restless. And now, alone and so lonely... I can hear the rain drops... and I can feel the warmth of my tear drops. 
Lord, make me whole...