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Thursday, August 1, 2013

The Unlovable Me

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Hello there! I so miss this Thankful Thursday meme. Considering that it's the first of August, I would like to thank God for the past seven months of sustaining us and giving us more reasons to be hopeful for; to have a brighter tomorrow with my family. Actually. I've got countless of challenges but amazing indeed our God is because He never leave me at all despite the fact that I am so stubborn minding MY own way. 

I've been trying to fool myself by being so hypocrite with the realities in life. Well, actually, I was just in the state of denial that life is quite rough for the past days. But like what I have said, God sustained me all the way. If I will be likened to children in  a family, I am the black sheep. I decided on things abruptly. My hubby was even complaining about it. I am always impatient with the things that I want. Good thing I am still aware that what I did was wrong, an indication that I am not yet completely lost on Him.

God the Father is not like some of those biological fathers who can afford to abandon their children. But sometimes, this kind of truth spoiled me in one way or another. Since God loves me that much and without condition, I can be myself, my stubbornness and my impatience are the living proof that I am such a spoiled brat. However, God, just like any father, also disciplines His children so no wonder why I went through such ordeals: to teach me a lesson. I am a teacher but yet I've got a lot of lessons to be learned.

So if I have to enumerate the things that I should be thankful for, first on the list would be God's unconditional love for me. There are times that my Mom made me feel that she doesn't care about me anymore, God didn't. I oftentimes put the blame on Him when I am so down with my life accusing Him of being so unfair and yet He never fails to remind me that what I was thinking was wrong. God is love. Yes I know that, maybe I just have to tame myself from being so self-centered sometimes. Spoiled as I am, I want to have the things that I want in the time that I badly need it. And God has His way of disciplining me. He allowed me to cry, to feel bad and when I am through with all these "emotional tantrums", God uses someone to remind me that He loves me, the whole ME, unconditionally.

How about you? Share the things that you are grateful about and link it on Thankful Thursday hosted by Grace Alone.



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