It has been three weeks that we failed to go to church. We didn't do it deliberately, there are just some situations that are beyond our control but still we know that there should be no excuse in prioritizing God above anything or anyone else. Human weakness.
So this morning, Hubby and I finally made it tagging along our two babies. Our Pastor's sermon was a real hit for both of us. Somehow we are very much guilty when talking about spiritual decline. I admit it, the longer I lost connection with the church, the more problematic I become and I can feel spiritual dryness overtaking me. Our Pastor discussed the symptoms of spiritual decline: These are symptoms of hypocrisy, idolatry, prayerlessness, busyness AND worldliness.
Hypocrisy. I might say that in one way or another I became a hypocrite in the sense that I pretend to be a "God-fearing individual" yet often forget to pray everyday, to read the Bible and ironically, I have more time reading my Reader's Digest book than opening my Bible, I just rely on the Bible apps on my phone but still even failed to open it because I have more game apps that consume most of my idle time.
Idolatry. Did I mention that I have more time reading books that my Bible? It might be considered as idolatry because I just can't stop myself from leaping through pages of my very thick, hardbound collection.
Prayerlessness. How I wish I could be as prayerful as David. I often caught myself praying but most of the time it is a self-centered prayer, AND when I didn't have the answer I questioned God. But really, I prayed but not as focused and not as genuine as the saints and Pastors. I know there is something in my heart that hinders God from answering my prayer. And what surprised me this morning is that our Pastor mentioned that God will not hear the prayers of the wicked which made me ask my self if I am really that wicked already. Sigh.
Busyness. Yes, I have all the reasons why I wasn't able to do this and that (church ministry) because I thought to myself that I am too busy with my job and with my babies that I do not have the luxury of time to do anything else. BUT I knew it was wrong. I was WRONG.
Worldliness. I think it might not be that much but still my attention is easily caught by worldly things than the spiritual one. Try to consider my desperation to get more money through online jobs. I often sleep late spending so much time in the computer trying to hunt for online jobs. Silly me but that is true. I am so desperate that I forgot to completely trust God for my security... I am so desperate to have financial breakthrough. My intentions are pure but I am just too hasty that I try to push myself to the limit without waiting for God's plan for me. The result, online opportunities are so scarce nowadays.
I AM SO GUILTY. I am guilty of having spiritual dryness.
I thank God that He is such a loving and forgiving God.
And oour finale song this morning...
♪ A pure heart, that's what I long for...♫
Yes, Lord. Purify my heart. Renew my mind, my strength and my trust and faith in You.