I have known myself as a person who is so slow to patience. I easily get discouraged. When things aren't favorable with me, I whined. So disgusting but it's true. I really do not know how to tame myself . Every time I look myself at the mirror I take a minute to reflect and ask my very own self- Why on Earth I am so IMPATIENT.

Lately, I was expecting for a big change in my life yet it seems like God wouldn't allow it to happen. Yes, I've been praying to Him that He would finally grant it to me yet an update about it broke my heart... 

Que sera sera, God would You please intervene? If You have a different plan for me then reveal it to me. I am so sorry for being me. I know You knew the desires of my heart. And You knew for a fact that all I want is for the best not for myself but for my family... 

Here I go again. The dispiriting moments of my life never ceases yet...

They hit me again not with sharp words but wrong perceptions... and it's getting painful everyday.

I try to console myself by thinking that everything will come to pass.

Yes, absolutely everything will come to pass...

But as the days went by, my heart slowly shattered into pieces...

Yes, here I go again, confronted with emotional battle.

I wish I could disappear for a moment 

I wish for once my heart will not feel any pain anymore

I wish for once I will not get affected...

I wish for once I will become INSENSITIVE...

I am looking forward to a new beginning

Yet it seems like the season isn't in favor of me.

I do not know what to expect tomorrow.

If pain is still there...

How can I escape from it?

Should I go on or is it better for me to surrender?

*Deep sigh*

This morning, I was accompanied by my Huggy for my dental appointment. He then shared to me about what was discussed during the morning breakfast in the church. We sent a letter or shall I say a note of intent for our supposed Principal Sponsors. Two of them, Sir Melo and Atty. Felix, promised to give a monetary pledge for our upcoming Big Day. 

Upon knowing it, I really thank God for those heart that they have for us. Indeed, they are such a blessing and we are so very thankful to them. Some of our brethren also promise to donate something and I was really overwhelmed with their all-out support.

Little by little, all my apprehensions disappear knowing that we are surrounded and blessed with kind-hearted people.

Love it!

♫ ♪ Looks like we made it, look how far we've come my baby... ♫

Yes indeed! we have come this far... 40th months...
Soon, we'll be going further...
By God's will, I will walk down the aisle...
We will make it simple but memorable...
Against all odds, we can really really make it!
Amen.

I felt this need before but I really felt the need now all the more...

Yes, I need to see a Dentist. I already book an appointment with Dr. Jona Alegre, our University Dentist. 

I went through sleepless nights before because of toothache. I just realized the importance of regular dental check-up now. All Moms out there, always schedule your children especially those with sweet tooth before it is too late...

As of now, I am hoping and praying that this won't give me another sleepless nights anymore...

*Sigh*

Maybe all of us dreamed to have a better relationship with anyone else... Maybe all of us longed to maintain a healthy feeling towards one another... and maybe all of us wants to get along well with all the people that we may encounter along the way.

Obviously because we all love PEACE. Who wants to fight against anyone else anyway? Not unless, you are not on your mind today.

It is even much better to maintain a symbiotic relationship not only with other people not so close to you but to your love ones especially!

That was my ultimate dream.

The hardest fight to make up is the fight with your love ones. When painful things have been said already, when misunderstanding arises, indeed it is really hard to patch up. When we are hurt by our love ones, it is the most unbearable thing that could happen. These are the people whom you grow up with for so many years. These are the people that you cry with and laugh with since time immemorial... These are the same people who could tell so much about you and who could be so proud of you at the same time.

If you felt like you are being misunderstood right now, I feel for you.

If you felt like you are in pain right now, I feel for you...

Just bear in mind then that in every ordeals, there are lessons that we could learn.

We might be misunderstood sometimes but it shall come to pass...

Yes, it will really come to pass whether you believe me or not.

image taken from Google

I should tell myself over and over again, that this will come to pass.

After all, as the song goes ♪ there's a rainbow always after the rain ♪


Mind you, rainbow symbolizes a Blessed Hope!

"If symptoms persist, consult your doctor"

And exactly that was what I did yesterday. It's been almost or maybe more than a month already that I have suffered and endured hard cough by taking (based on my own prescriptions) cough med, syrups and herbs. However, my condition does not improve (positively). My huggy accompanied me then to Dr. Irnie Dave Obias. He said I have Allergic Bronchitis and he prescribed me with, well FOUR kinds of medicine that I need to take for straight FIVE days. And IF, the symptoms STILL persist, I need to go back to him for an X-Ray recommendation (ouch!). Good thing he does not charge me with a consultation fee (He is a family friend of my huggy- to my advantage) plus I got a discount of almost P300.00 for the medicines (what a blessings indeed). 

I tried to learn about Allergic Bronchitis, as I have only known Allergic Rhinitis (which I experienced last December). So far based on my research, I have learned the following:

Allergic bronchitis is a type of asthma, which causes the obstruction of the airways when the bronchi or the air passages of the lungs become filled up with mucous during an asthma attack. Respiratory illnesses have significant effects on the lives of millions of people. It can be acute, when it is a short term illness and easily treatable. In allergic bronchitis, both asthma symptoms and allergies are present which can cause hay fever and allergic rhinitis. By far, the majority of cases of bronchitis stem from viral infections.

Allergic bronchitis is manageable, however if you have this illness you must also be aware that it can be dangerous at times. It is important that you know how to deal with it whenever you are exposed to unexpected allergen, like taking medications with you at all times in case of emergency.

While everything stated above is TRUE, my Doctor also said that allergic bronchitis is also caused by STRESS

Well, I would say that it is not really that manageable AND so annoying too. I experienced waking up on the middle of the night. My doctor also said that one cause of this is the smoke we inhaled from the cigarette. Indeed it is very TRUE. SMOKING is one of the things I hated the most. I cannot help myself but nag sometimes whenever I am in public vehicle and someone else is smoking. Passive smoker (referring to us, non-smoker- the official inhalator of their smoke) is more in danger compared to those who actually smoke if disadvantages will be the issue.

So, for those who cannot help themselves from SMOKING, please respect those people around you. Be sensitive. Smoking can kill, not directly but indirectly. Thou shall NOT kill.

Have mercy on us. 

Words of wisdom for today: “Weigh things first before you make further action”, simple yet a very true reminder. Last night I was overwhelmed with my emotion that I wrote something here (which I purposely deleted to avoid further misconception). If we merely rely on our emotion, we cannot be assured that what we perceived and conceived to be true is indeed the truth. The outpouring of our emotion, if not handled or managed properly, will likely result to broken relationships. It could be anger and resentment that drove us to do such thing. In my case, it was. I realized I was too concerned with my emotion that I failed to look at the brighter side of the situation. Tears blinded me to further look into details as to why such things were happening.

Things that cannot be undone are the hardest thing to mend. Because of extreme emotions, I was temporarily lost to the reality that life isn’t bad at all. If we merely focus on one situation without considering the root cause, the effect could be detrimental, if not fatal, to one’s relationship. I knew for a fact that nothing good will result from our reaction caused by so much anger.

My apology to those who were affected with what I have written. My sincere apology to those people whom I thought have caused some pain on me that much. My mentor was right; I should weigh things out before making any moves. I have cried a lot already, but this time, not out of extreme emotion, but of guilt for being so judgmental. It was me who gave the wrong judgment. It was me who made the wrong assumptions.

I have learned somehow with this experience. I learned the art of listening. As I woke up this morning, I really prayed for wisdom and strength. I asked for wisdom for me to understand why such thing happened to me.

The restoration process is not that easy. Everything was cleared to me now. I just have to settle the issue with someone I loved the most. Again, it was out of extreme emotion that I did such thing.

There might be some issues that really affect me that much but that was already a thing in the past. I should not let those issues ruin what I have planned ahead. It was over. I should not allow it to haunt me again and again. We all went through similar situations, but as long as we live, we have the options to move on or just simply dwell with it and continue to hurt ourselves.

This situation helps me as a person. It teaches me the essence of maturity. I know I still have lots of things to learned. This was just the beginning. I just thank God for the wisdom. I may be lost last night but now I am back to the reality.

But as for now, I still have to do something to restore what was almost ruined by those extreme emotions.

Again, my sincere apology. ☺

What if all of us are professionals? All of us earned a degree to brag about?

What if all of us are rich and maintain a high paying jobs? or control our own company?

Who else gonna build our houses? Who else gonna supply our food? Who will do the manual labor? Who will supply us with fish and vegetables? Who will tend the farm? Who will clean all our mess? Who will do the laundry?

We always complain of poor economy, underemployment, more drop-outs students...

We complain of so many things! 

But try to consider all those things I have aforementioned? 

What if all of us are given equal opportunity? Who will take the humility to serve one another? Who will initiate to do the manual task? the tedious labor?

Just wondering.

Catch the news here

As I opened my yahoo mail this afternoon, what caught my attention was the  headline news about one of the prominent Filipino citizen. 

The case has yet to be resolved but yet, late Former Defense Secretary Angelo Reyes convicted himself by taking suicide (as presumed) earlier today.

I heard about the  recent military scandal that he was allegedly involved with. The Higher Court has to deal with it yet but he finished it too soon by killing himself with a gun shot on his chest. 

Whatever you may call it, the fact that he put justice on his own hands with his life at stake, I cannot find logical reasons of doing so. But what else can we do? He could not be interrogated anymore, he finally close his heart, mind and soul from the case.

Whether guilty of the crime or not, suicide is neither the end nor the means of dealing with the issue. It does not justify.

Now, can I call it SUICIDAL CONVICTION?

This morning, my phone alarms at 5:30 but I noticed that it is yet too dark to wake up. So I just simply turned it off and went back to sleep. When I wake up, it is already 6:30 but still it seems like much earlier than the actual time. I was left with no other choice than to get up to prepare for work. After taking a bath I made a cup of coffee and a bread then went off for work. The rain shower compelled me to take a tricycle from my place to MetroBank which is just few meters from the school.

The climate now is indeed unpredictable. Such climate change brought noted disasters on some areas not only here in the Philippines but on other part of the world. The very evident of it is the global warming which causes colder region to experience El Niño and the tropical region with La Niña. Call it human factor but it is still a fact that human have greater contributions in the sudden change of the climate. We cannot deny it that unconsciously we became part of the reasons why we experienced such dilemma. And yet we are the first to complain.

Some people have learned their lessons while others are still unmindful of what has been happening around him. Protecting our Mother Nature has become a slogan anymore. Allow me to quote a particular comment posted by a certain fellow named  "Curt" two years ago on the issue about Climate Change and I quote: 

"I see this events just as a 'political spin' or 'marketing spin' of how to buy more time for not acting and not taking any responsibility, at all. Sadly, very many people are going to die and suffer a lot, before there are going to be greater changes about this topic, if ever. Every single week new coal power plants are opening all over the planet, millions of new cars are sold, thousands and thousands of new factories are opening in developing countries, huge forests are cut, etc. President George W.Bush is not supporting, President Vladimir Putin is not supporting, China and India are not supporting, Gordon Brown is not supporting, etc. 

Very sad, but true."

Indeed, very sad, IF true.


There might be some actions taken but do you think we can still really save Mother Earth from its ultimate destruction? Let's include that in our prayers.

Women are said to be undescribable in so many ways. Men is the best group to  be asked about their opinion on women. There are many behavioral pattern of women that some men may find it difficult to deal with. I love the song entitled " She's Always A Woman To Me". My significant other may not know about this song or haven't sing this even just for once, but based on its lyrics, I can really really relate to it. The way Billy Joel, the composer,  describe the woman is indeed very much true. If you are not familiar with the song, here's the lyrics, with emphasis on the points where it really tells much about me... 

She can kill with a smile

She can wound with her eyes

She can ruin your faith with her casual lies

And she only reveals what she wants you to see

She hides like a child,

But she's always a woman to me

She can lead you to love

She can take you or leave you

She can ask for the truth

But she'll never believe you

And she'll take what you give her, as long as it's free

Yeah, she steals like a thief

But she's always a woman to me

CHORUS:

Oh--she takes care of herself

She can wait if she wants

She's ahead of her time

Oh--and she never gives out

And she never gives in

She just changes her mind

And she'll promise you more

Than the Garden of Eden

Then she'll carelessly cut you

And laugh while you're bleedin'

But she'll bring out the best

And the worst you can be

Blame it all on yourself

Cause she's always a woman to me

Bridge

CHORUS:

Oh--she takes care of herself

She can wait if she wants

She's ahead of her time

Oh--and she never gives out

And she never gives in

She just changes her mind

She is frequently kind

And she's suddenly cruel

She can do as she pleases

She's nobody's fool

And she can't be convicted

She's earned her degree

And the most she will do

Is throw shadows at you

But she's always a woman to me

Yes, I often changes my mind, unable to make a fixed decision unless I will be enlightened. I frequently have mood swings especially when provoked. I do not really know how he perceived me. But the fact that he remains, it only goes to show that the patience of my very impatient man has gone beyond his limits.

I just hope that one day, he'll get to sing this song for me. 

♥♥♥

The labor, effort and unity paid off as the Admin and General Services Division was hailed as the third on Last Night's MUST Rockstar Dance Contest!

        

The actors

Picture Perfect

Taking licensure exam is a mixed emotion... The presence of pressure is there and fear for the outcome as well is inevitable. No matter how we try to remain calm, still we cannot help but wonder what would be the outcome of the 3-hour or more grueling exam... I've been there... I got the same feeling six years ago... Before I took the exam, I claimed God's promise to me in Jeremiah 29:11... I shared the same promise to them... For those who were not able to make it does not mean they are forgotten by God. His thoughts and ways are beyond our understanding... His plan for each one of us is greater than ours...

God is too wise to be mistaken, 

God is too good to be unkind

When you don't understand, 

when you don't see His plan and 

when you can't trace His hands, 

TRUST HIS HEART....

Batch 2009-2010

To Shiela, Jemelyn, Joahnna, Michelle, Geramie and Jennifer- to God be the glory!

To Philip, April, Gracel, Jury and the rest of the group who were not able to make it- never lose hope!

No eyes have seen
No ears have heard 

No mind has conceived

What GOD has in store for us

check this out:

something clever: Work In Progress


I am a self-confessed frustrated artist (lol!)


I wish i could have done some art similar to the one above.

I love the art of the author,Lindsey. so cool!

Call me desperate... yes I admit, I am. I am desperate to lose weight... I am desperate to gain height, I am desperate to work abroad, I am desperate to find a really stable job. All this desperations cause me stress. Yes, by just merely thinking about it, it stress me a lot. While it's true that I should not worry about my tomorrow for it is already in God's hand but human as I am, I cannot help it but wonder and ask-how long should I wait for God to reveal His ultimate and perfect plan for me?


My thought really wonders specially now that I was stranded again by the heavy downpour, but yes that's how I felt right now... 

If you are task to man a certain group pf people, you need to take the responsibility. As for me, it is not easy to be in-charge. If you are in-charge on a certain thing, you must be willing to take the risk... and the external and internal pressures that comes from the lower and upper portion of your domain. You have a boss that you need to obey... you have people under you that you need to guide. Without cooperation from those under your command, you will really be stressed. Talking about stress, one must identify his/her stressors... In my case-

well... I just keep it to myself ^_^